has over 4000 registered free sperm donors who have helped over 2600 women and couples become parents since 2003.
THANK YOU !
Join the Discussions About DIY Free Sperm Donation on Facebook!
eg Should there be a limit on how many offspring a sperm donor can have? Should we regulate private sperm donations? - ie sperm donations outside of recognised sperm banks and clinics? The Child Listener™ offers suggestions, for moving forwards, and regulating private sperm donation practices.
(from facebook page)
I just read a post about regulating sperm donation - because of how many children are being created and not parented by the bio father. If a man donates through a sperm bank in the US he could have hundreds of children and not even know about them. I also had an email from someone the other day about a donor who was one of the first ever to register with FSDW in 2003- who now apparently has an enormous number of children- openly (and proudly) admitting this.
So this was my response- in particular about a comment relating to private sperm donation (ie outside of officially recognised ART services)
"Its rare for a person to have that many kids outside of Art but it happens occassionally"
Actually, no, its happening ALOT. I recently heard of a man who has been donating through every sperm donor connections site and openly admits to having hundreds. Why women would therefore choose him if beyond me- but it is happening more and more.
I try to keep track of whats happening on FSDW as much as I can- actively trying to encourage men who are donating privately to limit this number and also to ensure that those who are parenting the child can support them. Infact that is why men often say they choose to donate through FSDW- because they couldnt bear the thought of helping a woman or couple build their family and not know the life in which their bio child would be raise. Most FSDW donors maintain contact with the parents raising the child leaving options open to the child for what they want, even before they turn 18. Legally this man would be obliged to financially support the child as private donations arent recognised (although Im seeing this changing when it is AI and the intent was clear) - however the man raising the child- or second parent - is actually doing that. And I believe in these cases that is as it should be. Those intentionally seeking to raise the child should not do so if they do not have the means in which to do so. And I do not believe it is immoral- or abandonement when a man chooses to donate and not raise the child- if he chooses those who will be raising the child- and is open to contact and a relationship with the child is the CHILD wants this. Multiple parents with different roles is not unusual in this day and age- and this is becoming just another. I hear from hundreds of former FSDW members and donors who have these relationships - and they are working- especially for the child. We even have a phrase' Dondad' which children use to define his role to others.
However I am seeing more and more 'sperm donation connections' web sites cropping up where the only focus really is on getting pregnant- many seemingly unaware that the sperm is the DNA of a real person who will matter to the child- some more than others. ALL but FSDW allow men to request 'NI' - which to me means - literally- a free ride. Free sex, an agreement that there will be no obligation to support or even care about whos going to be raising your bio child. (an agreement some women are later going back on)
On those sites- one in particular- man are fathering ALOT of children without fathering them! Finally or physcially. However rather than putting the spotlight on men I think this means we need to educate prospective parents regarding the issues. They can then do what they can do see if the man they choose actually is creating tens if not hundreds of other children elsewhere. Its not easy- men can do that anywhere- you cant get a list of sexual partners or children by doing any checks! But you can reduce the risks as much as you can- and spend a long time carefully choosing who this person is. Not by sending him a message through a sperm donation connections site asking if he could drop the specimen round next Tuesday and leave it on the doorstep- type scenario! Many FSDW donors have actually written to me - incredulously- to ask if these women actually care who has produced the sperm! They see themselves as more than 'sperm donors' in the official sense - and more as people helping to build families but who care enough about their future offspring to not do this through a sperm bank- but instead somewhere they can personally vet potential candidates.
In reality how could you regulate it - other than (as is happening) determine legally that a man who donates through AI - where there is a contract outlining their pre-conception agreement- that this man is not obliged to make payments. This could lead to a registry that gives us much more useful information- also for the dc children- and this is something FSDW are still working on. The legalities are a mine field and we want to get it right. It will be a free service - aimed at promoting honest and early disclosure and information sharing- and potentially far more for children who currently dont really get much info until 18. Far too late- they have already formed self-identities etc- often inaccurately.
I believe that if it is sex the man should pay- but this may be more to do with the fact that I want to try to wipe out this practice- which is risky in all manners of ways- and can often be the real reason the man is helping. This would give people more options, be more transparent, and allow greater sharing of information as the boundaries are clear- he cannot later sue for shared custody and the parent/s raising the child cant sue for child support. It is up to both parties to go into it with their eyes open- and ultimately the child should have the benefit of parents financially and emotionally able to support them as well as access to their bio father.
So yes- I would like to see AI sperm donation become legalised - and therefore be a procedure that could be carried out at a doctors office at low cost if the recipient does not want to home self-inseminate- and this can be done after testing- even though the recipient understands the increased risk. FSDW recipients currently pay for their donor to be tested - in the UK they can do this for free. Or the sperm could be frozen etc if the recipients could afford that. The main point is that both parties have chosen each other before conception, and are going to this with eyes wide open. Options that allow people to choose their own 'match' based not on statistics from a catalogue and honour the man as the bio father and not a 'sperm donor' - therefore allowing the child to know of him and be able to make their own decisions BEFORE the age of 18. We can then have much more open support groups for these alternative families to reduce associated risks- eg crossing boundaries. (which we have with all families)
But to me a man who has sex - or a woman who has sex to create a baby- is not choosing a sperm donor. She should know he can gain custody and certainly contact as the dad - and he should know that he will be paying child support. Sex is unecessary for private donation - and this distinction could be the answer for moving forwards regarding regulation. It could also mean there would be a ceiling on how many donations a man could offer and be legally protected. So once he has created - say- 10 officially recognised DC babies - through AI- then after that he has no protection from the law- and if she sues, hes paying child support! women can also check up on his 'file' to see how many are already there- knowing that if she chooses him and there are already 10 he could sue for custody!
'The Child Listener' - A Voice for Kids
Please note that although we use the term 'free sperm donor' this is to indicate that the man is offering to donate his sperm for free, and willing to let the woman / couple raise the child without interference. He does however want to have a say in who he is to donate to, and more often than not wants to be contacted by the child if the child decides this. The arrangement is clear however- he is donating sperm privately and not wanting to play an active parenting role. Others are the 'real ' parents raising the child.
Private free sperm donation is not yet recognised legally as there has been no legal precedent; men are legally known as 'sperm donor' when donating through a fertility clinic. So the laws relating to 'sperm donation' do not apply to the men registered on FSDW. These are private arrangements between consenting adults.
Adults choose FSDW to offer far more to the child than any sperm bank could offer. As donating sperm privately through AI FSDW 'donors' are regularly tested for HIV and STDs etc- expensese covered by recipients. Most only donate to one of two couples however, and then stay in touch. Many donate their sperm so that women can conceive biological related siblings. FSDW has been created to offer better choices to all AFTER conception. Choices not available through fertility clinics.
Over the past year or so there has been a huge increase in the number of Australian sperm donors-FSDW now has more than all Australian sperm banks combined! For example
Western Australia - Lesbian couple used online sperm to conceive their son
It took Ms Patterson, 22, and Ms O'Sullivan just one day to find the sperm donor of their chubby, healthy baby.
"We used the internet to look up options and a lot involved frozen sperm shipped over from overseas, and a lot of sites were not monitored, so it felt very unsafe," Ms Patterson said.
The donor has a family of his own and was willing to play a small role in the child's life. "We had the sperm tested and then the following month we got pregnant the first time," Ms Patterson said.
"Jacob is going to know he has a dad, but he does not live with us, like many children. The donor comes to visit twice a year, so it is important to him to know who his dad is."
We never thought we would find it all so easy. Within 2 days of joining your site we had found the man of our dreams- and he is happy to be contacted by our child when old enough to ask and understand the role this amazing man had in his creation. Our son is now almost 2 and we wanted to write again to so thank you. Words can't express the joy our son brings to our lives- and to our families. And words cant express our gratitute to you for connecting us with our son's donor dad.
F**** and S** xxx
FSDW is still the ONLY site in the world to ONLY promote and facilitate only AI (no sex) known (children deserve to know of their origins even though you will be parenting) free (no payment for sperm- only expenses) NO SHIPPING (how can you know its safe, actually sperm or from the person you think its from?) private sperm donations.
Your details in the members only area will NOT be spidered and listed with google. Please work with FSDW to retain your privacy.
FSDW was created as we knew that children would not want to be conceived using anonymous sperm donors at clinics, where they could know nothing of their origins. Even though those raising them are the 'real' parents children are still curious about their heritage as we all are!
I can't find out much about my origins from this sperm bank catalogue Mum. What's he like?"
Off the Books to Find a Father- FSDW - Free Sperm Donor Web Site Builds Families
I wrote to you last year in March and joined your website soon afterwards.
I am very happy to say that I conceived first time by a donor from your website (Free Sperm Donations.com).
I am now a very proud mummy to baby Adam born 25 Feb 2011
Is there anyway I can put a testimonial on your website?I’d like to give hope to any woman going through what I went through to have my own child.Despite it being a rather complicated ‘set-up’ I have an amazing loving and understanding husband who is smitten with his son even though he is not ‘biologically’ his.I am a very lucky person!
Thanks for having this service. I hope you write soon. Best wishes
(name removed for privacy)
FSDW knew that many intelligent, kind men men WANT to choose who will be raising the child created using their sperm. They want to donate to help - but not to everyone and anyone! They will often only donate to one or two women or couples, and will choose those most likely to raise the child with love and stability and who are emotionally (and preferably financially) stable. Most FSDW donors would not donate to young single women without a lot of questions. A donor SHOULD be asking questions in this regard. If not then why is he donating? On other sites for money and/ or sex. FSDW is strictly AI only. As they arent getting sex or money they are much more likely to be offering to help for altruistic reasons, and because their conscience would not allow them to bring a child into the world who they are not going to be raising, without knowing who will be the 'real' parents.
FSDW is not about creating babies; it is about creating babies who will be raised in wonderful homes, and know who they are and where they come from. So choice of donor- and recipient- matters!
FSDW also knows that many single women, lesbian and infertile couples would want to make the choice regarding the sperm donor from more than statistics on a catalogue and not have to justify their desire to be a parent to a clinic, or be judged according to marital status or sexuality, or need to take out a second mortgage to even attempt to get pregnant.
FSDW also knew that women and couples would be concerned about health of the donor and screening, and so she wanted to create a place where everyone knew how to do this, and what to check for (mainly HIV and STDs) FSDW donors would expect to get tested regularly and be prepared to show results from the GP or clinic. FSDW offers a great deal of useful info and support in this regard, to help donors and recipients remain as safe and healthy as possible.
FSDW also knew that recipients would (should) want find out about the person.
Who is he- what are his values- what is his personality like? Will their child be proud to meet him later in life if they want to? Will he want to meet them- will he welcome them?
These are not things you can find out about when using a sperm bank. These choices are not offered to you through clinics, and your child can find out very little about their origins until at least 18, when self-identity is already formed! Don't leave children wondering about themselves and not having information.
FSDW was created so that would-be-parents could choose the donor as if they were the child
choosing the donor!
He is so much more than just a sperm producer- and if not to you, then to your child!
YOU are the real parents as you will earn that role in their heart- but to honour the child you must honour their origins.
Choose wisely... and that's why FSDW was created. Safe, responsible choices. Reducing risk as much as possible but also building families! With a world reknown family coach supporting you....
FSDW helps single women, lesbian and infertile couples who have a common goal- of finding a men who will donate to them for free, and ask for no money or sex. They want to know about the biological father of their child even though they will be the 'real' parent/s raising the child.
So why NOT use a clinic or sperm bank?
For starters (and possibly the most important to your child) your child cannot find out about their origins until at least 18, you cant talk to your child about him, your child cant meet him before 18 if he or she wants (or their half siblings etc) and its EXPENSIVE.
Many infertile couples start trying with FSDW after years of trying IVF and having spent all of their savings. 6 weeks later and around $30 down they are pregnant! (testimonials available- eg Baby Mia the first recorded Internet Baby)
THOUSANDS of women and couples are now proud and happy parents, and incredibly grateful to the wonderful FSDW donors who are helping them for genuine reasons, and not for something in return eg money or sex. There have been NO legal or health issues, which Emma maintains is due to sharing information about the risks, having a behaviour code and encouraging all involved to put the child first- even before conception!
Most FSDW sperm donors will keep trying with you until you fall pregnant, and many are so knowledgeable that they will give you tips and advice about how to have a successful pregnancy quickly!
ONLY genuine, amazing men need apply to be a FSDW sperm donor. Men who will donate for free, AI only and be known.
In return for donating safely (being fully tested regularly) intelligently and sensitively with the bigger picture in mind (especially the child) The Child Listener™ will do everything in her power to support you, along with her legal team. These men care about the child and the life they will lead, even though they agree not to interfere with the parenting.
FSDW helps people to have a healthy successful pregnancy and ALSO remain risk free after the child is born.
To do this you must separate sex from sperm donation for numerous reasons, including legal, emotional and health reasons. This is why FSDW is strictly AI only and always has been.
DID YOU KNOW
If a private sperm donor has sex and is then sued for child support the fact that sex was involved will almost certainly lead to 18 years of child support! AI (no sex) shows clear intent. It can be the difference legally between remaining a sperm donor and becoming a parent, whether you want that or not.
However the FDA, Health Canada and others are now trying to stop men donating privately through AI by taking legal action. They are clearly stating that men cannot 'distribute' sperm for the purposes of sperm donation without a license. Anyone found to be doing this can now face prosecution - with Trent Arsenault's case potentially setting legal precedent. This will mean that men cannot advertise as private sperm donors or face prosecution, and sites like FSDW will potentially also face legal action in at least the USA and Canada for knowingly facilitating it. FSDW does not allow for any donor profiles to be listed with google, or show the public who is donating, other than through usernames, to protect them. However now that so many sites are NOT doing this, and are publically displaying details, including photos, we can no longer operate under the radar. And with the rise issues because of these other sites perhaps that is a good thing? Ultimately someone will have to start regulating these sites if the site owners are not doing it?
Read article about how to choose a sperm donor for free, legal sperm donations outside of clinics. However these guidelines may soon change as the authorities try to crack down on private donations.
FSDW choose not to talk to the press publically about sperm donation for these reasons. Those who are talking publically are putting sites like FSDW at risk of being closed down. Anyone reading that the creator of one site conceived after collecting a pot at Starbucks must realise the implications, and who will start to sit up and take notice- and take action. This is NOT in the interest of public health. Nor is it seen as being in the interest of the child who is usually protected by law and the father expected to support the child. There are numerous issues and risks with private sperm donation, however FSDW has been working hard for over 9 years to reduce them- to help people build families outside of clinics (where the child's rights and needs at at the bottom of their list of priorities) but ALSO do this as safely as possible, putting the child first. She is adamant that the focus is not about bringing children into the world- but on bringing children into the world to women and couples able to raise then well- and using sperm donors who care about the child even if not raising them- and will be available for questions and to meet the child if that is what the child wants.
FSDW are appalled to hear of sperm donors fathering more than a few children, and of men agreeing to 'donate to very young single women through 'free sex' under the guise of 'altruistic sperm donation'. Many of these women cant support themselves emotionally or financially let alone their children.
Those who use FSDW therefore tend to be much more enlightened and responsible, with the average age of single women using donors on FSDW being over 25.
----- Original Message -----
From: name removed for privacy
Sent: Saturday, December 10, 2011 3:15 PM
Subject: Havin' a baby!!!
Just wanted to share my news - with ****'s help i am now almost 9 weeks pregnant and am sooo happy. Without your site we would never have meet and this new life would not have been possible.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful christmas and fabulous new year!!!
Welcome from FSDW
'Hi Everyone!- I'm passionate about being a a Mom and helping others create their own family, within the modern, rapidly changing world. We are NOT trying to help everyone and everyone! wanting to be a parent or donate sperm through FSDW where our expectations are higher because we are speaking out for children- then I welcome you! However we have to set higher standards regarding sperm donations outside of clinics, and show the authorities that this should be a solution before they see what other sites are facilitating and close us all down!
Join me!- and together we can develop a intelligent, kind,
safe and responsible 'DIY Baby™ sperm donation' community.
The current 'regulated' routes - ie fertility clinics - are not offering choices that effectively meet the needs of all recipients, sperm donors and sperm donor conceived children. And a new 'breed' of web sites that are being created do NOT promote safe and responsible child focused arrangements. I saw recently that coparent-match are advertising 'anonymous donors' as if this is a good thing! It isnt- unless site revenue is your underlying concern- not the children being created.
FSDW donors donate through AI only, for free, and everyone
using the FSDW member's area is able to connect (and then make their own arrangement) - all agreeing to abide by the DIY Baby™ Behaviour Code which focuses around AI only, known, free sperm donations.
Everyone can report and discuss issues in confidence . Supporting single women, infertile and lesbian couples! Please click here for our new Donor Dad Questionnaire.
Are you a sperm 'Donor Dad' - or want to enter into
an arrangement whereby you know of how the child is doing after conception- or even to co-parent?
Options for being in contact with the child are not available when you donate through a sperm bank. If however you donate sperm through
Free Sperm Donations Worldwide (FSDW) you can choose who to donate to- and make your own arrangement, that more effectively caters for the needs of the children born as a result ie for information and ideally some connection.
Please also use the new free support network- 'My Donor Dad' - launching shortly- and the home to our new 'Sibling Donor Registry' - 2012. This is a secure private area (not spidered by search engines) where FSDW donors and members can keep in touch safely AFTER conception and not worry about potential legal issues- being sued for child support, or for parental responsibility.
You can liaise through the free members area using your FSDW unique identifier code, asking and answering relevant questions etc. Trained professionals are on hand to resolve any issues and offer professional support re parenting matter, legal and health issues.
The DC child can also use this to correspond with the donor if and when ready - even before 18. FSDW donors agree to this and welcome this contact by the child.
FSDW lawyers are working with us on the legalities to make sure no court can ever get this information, or force a parent or donor to reveal their true identity- leaving them open to legal action. At present private sperm donation arrangements are NOT generally recognised, and we do not want genuine sperm donors, with honourable intentions, and would-be-parents to stop connecting for fear of these laws. The laws are there to protect the child, however FSDW donors and members have this at the forefront of their minds and why they choose this site- moderated by a professional who is dedicated to children- it is why they choose to join the ONLY 'free, known, AI only (no sex) known sperm donor connections site in the world. There is no hidden agenda that can come ahead of the parents and child's needs- eg payment for the sperm or sex. FSDW is about QUALITY matches and family building- NOT quantity.
FSDW is about helping adults make safe, responsible decisions with the child at the heart of every one of these decisions. Helping making decisions the CHILD would make if they could!
'Pregnancy is only one small part of this journey'
The only money you ever pay is to subscribe to the members area and find your donor. All services after that are FREE.
Join FSDW to protect the rights and needs of DC children.
Sperm donation is a contentious issue for many- although the authorities often only focus on
the issues they believe relate to sites such as FSDW. It seems however that they do now have grounds to be concerned- and FSDW urges other site owners to also take a stand,
separating sex (NI) from private sperm donation arrangements.
Could you be a FSDW spern donor? Only truly amazing men wanted by women and couples ready to be parents!
FSDW members and sperm donorsr are predominantly caring, intelligent individuals who are well aware of the risks relating to private sperm donation arrangements- and together we talk about them and reduce them- and support one another in the secure FSDW member's only area. I have been proactively supporting single women, gay
and infertile couples through the Free Sperm Donations Worldwide site since 2003.
I seek to create a community where donors feel valued- and are more likely to meet women and couples serious about this, and who are financially, physically and emotionally ready to be a parent. The children born through sperm donor conception is always our main focus.
In these news articles within Australia a gorgeous FSDW baby was
mentioned- however what wasn't hightlighted was that Jacob's parents chose to offer him the opportunity to meet his 'donor daddy' and know of his origins- and they chose a man who they felt happy to fill this role.
They made a decision that will benefit their son far more than a fertility clinic could have offered. At best Jacob (and his parents) could request information when he turns 18 if they have used a clinic. His biological father (donor dad) would have had no choice in who his sperm would go to- ie who would raise his child- even though he isnt actively involved or wanting any parental rights. If you read articles about children conceived using sperm from fertility clinics you will realise how little the authorities have to offer the child. The sperm donor and Jacob's parents should be congratulated- not condemned by authorities for using fresh sperm (even though they used AI and not sex) which wasnt quarantined. How many couples do this when deciding to have a child? We should be talking about the real issues relating to modern parenting and sperm donation arrangements worldwide - issues the authorities seem determined to ignore. It is time we started to scrutinise the authorities- and how badly they are meeting not only demand but also the rights and needs of all concerned.
Over 2600 babies are known to have been created by our wonderful 'DIY Baby' sperm donors- with apparently more sperm donors - and therefore more success stories- than through regulated clinics. I believe that these amazing men donate through FSDW as it offers them more options regarding who they donate to, and on what terms. Many are happy for an update of the baby at birth and to be contactable by email should there be any health questions later in life etc, some to be a distant uncle and some to co-parent! As children deserve to know where they come from, any arrangement that allows for increased information (even when the donor plays no active parenting role) is promoted. As of Jan 2011 Free Sperm Donations Worldwide (FSDW) donors have been given the opportunity to complete a questionnaire to give to recipients- that can then be shared with the resulting child in a sensitive way, at an appropriate time. Likes, dislikes, family history, quirky stories etc. Making him real even if the arrangement is that he is simply the sperm donor daddy, and no more, post conception. The option to request anonymous donation is also being removed completely. We wish to see all sperm donors as 'known' donors.
The authorities appear to believe that men are no longer donating sperm because they can remain anonymous- and it is true in part; men do not want a child who they have no knowledge of just turning up at their doorstep at 18. However that is the key- they want to be informed- to have chosen the parents and have the ability to be given information throughout the child's life- perhaps even meeting him early on. Some would even like to co-parent. This is not a site where men choose to donate sperm anonymously- it is a site where they can make their own choices about the whole process. Again the authorities are missing the point- and in their rampage against the free sperm donations site they will alienate people still further.
Also ask about our DIY Baby™ workshops and pamphlets- supporting families with donor conceived children. Sharing stories, finding solutions- promoting stable, loving families where children grow up feeling wanted, supported, accepted and cherished. Private sperm donor and co-parenting arrangements can work well for all. I hope to be able to offer you all the help and support you need through this exciting journey.
DIY Baby- Creating Choices. Building Happy Families!
Welcome to the FSDW Site
* Read a few testimonials - from people who have used FSDW to get pregnant and have a baby through private free sperm donation arrangements.
Send us your success stories- share info and advice with others after using FSDW to find a sperm donor!
thank you so much. we are so excited. the two week wait is just agonising, but hopefully well worth it. It is thanks to your site that we decided it is best for the children to know from the start. we are both against lying and your insight help us see it from the child's eyes. Thank you so much for everything. We'll keep you updated.
Thank you so much again, f**** and c**** x x x "
FSDW on Facebook - DIY Baby - Child Focused Sperm Donation or on Twitter
Sperm Donor? Interested in Being Involved Post Conception?
Also visit our brand new Sperm 'Donor Dad' Support Network - Coming Soon!
" Gday ,
Well firstly i only have great feedack for your awesome site, i was barely a member for 5 mins lol and met a guy up here in Darwin who yeah has turned out to be a good person and I am going to use him as my donor. Everything feels right and is falling into place... he has taken himself off the website i think as he only wants to help one person. So yeah we have our first try in 2 weeks at ovulation and my hopes are that i am pregnant by the end of the year, sooner would be a great bonus lol, so yeah thanks heaps for making such a great website for us singlies and assisting in making my dreams come true.
Why join as a Free Sperm Donations Worldwide (FSDW) subscriber? Support and safety!
-connect with genuine sperm donors in the Free Sperm Donations Worldwide Member's Only Area- where all agree to abide by the FSDW Behaviour Code which helps create a community of like minded people- promoting safe and responsible free sperm donation arrangements.
Make use of free sperm donor agreement docs, share experiences in blogs, ask Emma your questions about home self insemination / AI, through to a focus on what happens after conception- ie meeting the needs of children born through sperm donation.
FSDW Members can also place a FREE message on the : 'FSDW Sperm Donor/ Co-Parenting Donor Wanted' Message Boards No time limit!
FSDW now has over 4000 registered
'free sperm donors' and
is arguably the most reputable and successful connections site within the private free sperm donation online community.
Today there are around:
1300+ UK sperm donors
1300+ USA sperm donors
500+ Australian sperm donors
175 Canadian sperm donors
60 New Zealand sperm donors and 300+ donors in other countries,
registered within the Member's Only area waiting to hear from single women, lesbian and infertile couples!
Contact them directly today!.
All you pay is your membership subscription- to contact sperm donors in the DIY Baby™ (Sperm Donation Connection) 'members only' area. The rest is up to you and your chosen sperm donor!
These membership fees enableFSDW to operate and moderate a site where sperm donors report a 'higher level of commitment' from members who are prepared to pay a membership- even though it is less than most pay for their coffee each month!
The Child Listener™ is particularly passionate about private sperm donation.
She is proud of creating a supportive community where getting pregnant is not the only consideration. Even before finding a sperm donor, or choosing to donate sperm, the
needs of the children to be born from sperm donation are considered.
The Child Listener™ is a well known family therapist and child behaviour advisor- and offers a range of professional services for men, women and couples interested in becoming pregnant through AI and then co-parenting - and also for those interested in learning more about raising a child born from sperm donation. As children want to know 'where they come' - to know their heritage (their 'roots') she would much prefer that people make their own private sperm donation arrangement- despite the risks associated (that are eliminated or reduced when you use a clinic) When choosing a sperm donor - even if you do not wish for any contact post conception- you are going to chat to the donor and meet him face to face- and can give at least a description to your child. This isn't really the same when using a sperm bank- when you never actually meet the sperm donor- you cant really 'visualize' him as a real person- and therefore it is difficult to describe him, and talk about him, to your child. However the law is still very behind in recognising private sperm donation arrangements - and FSDW also offers free info about advice in this regards.
More about Meeting the Needs of Children Born From Sperm Donation here
FSDWiis often asked "Why do FSDW donors donate sperm without charge,
if not to co-parent?
One told her
"It is the most amazing feeling, and the genuine donors that I talk to share the same highs and
lows with the girl at the end of the dreaded 2 week wait...".
I am attaching a picture of I *******, she was my first success at AI, again thanks to your
(photo removed for privacy)
If you are a registered Free Sperm Donations Worldwide
sperm donor and would like to
share your story please contact FSDW
FSDW is set up very much like a dating site
- except members are looking for sperm rather than a partner!
When you join FSDW you will be sent login details, and then have access to the database of sperm donors - and can update info in your profile, add photos etc.
There is an internal messaging system - you can use that to send and receive messages, or click on the bottom of their profile and this email is sent directly to them (you don't see their email address) They will see the email address you specify. You will then start corresponding. If something doesn't feel right trust you instinct- and let me know if any sperm donors appear to want payment or sex. That would be in breach of our DIY Baby Behaviour Code
Please note that this is an AI only site not only for the health issues- the donor then doesnt need to get the recipient tested for HIV and STDs, - but also legal reasons. Although the law varies in different countries AI shows clear intent- that this was for donation purposes. Only in Canada should sex by involved - according to the law. I am also adamant that sex not be involved so that boundaries are clear emotionally. I would rather women feel relaxed and stress free- ready to conceive- and having sex with a complete stranger for donation purposes only is not something most emotionally health women would agree to. The site has been AI only since I created it in 2003/4- and I ask everyone to report any requests or suggestions of anything but AI so we can prevent issues. When anyone suggests 'NI' they mean sex. And their ability to use the member's area will be removed. Most court cases and difficulties have arisen when there has been a clouding or boundaries and agreements. Let's keep it clear and simple- and as 'friendly professional' and risk free as we can.
So FSDW Sperm donors register
, offering to donate sperm for free - AI only-, and as such will want to find a suitable match in the same way you do - so if you use this site please do accept that it may take time to find the right one, and you will need to have lots of patience. Put as much info in your profile as possible, so that registered sperm donors can get an idea of your personality and the type of arrangement you are looking for. We ask all FSDW donors to at least reply with a polite 'sorry, I cant help you' if this is the case- however if donors fail to respond, or respond inappropriately, please do let me know. It is by using member feedback that I can monitor what is going on and try to keep the site a safe and respectful place to correspond with one another.
Members can also use a free private sperm donor agreement document outlining their agreed arrangement with donor - just get this signed and notarised to clearly state your intention. Check our the free legal info pages regarding your country and area.
When you think you have found the 'right sperm donor' you need to decide what sperm donor tests etc you require- and there are usually places you can get your donor tested for free
- eg in the UK you just go to your local NHS GU clinic for same day STD and HIV testing and results. Some of our sperm donors are registered with sperm banks and have that info to show you already.
When you are happy that all is going to your satisfaction you will need to make your arrangement re collection of fresh sperm ready for self-insemination, or make an arrangement with him to donate to a clinic. If you meet him in person to collect fresh sperm ideally you need to inseminate twice within the 48 - 72 hours prior to ovulation. There are only a few days in your cycle when it is possible to become pregnant. Please do not waste your sperm donor's time- monitor your cycle prior to starting insemination meetings- and start taking folic acid. We include ovulation charting and testing sticks- and folic etc- in the DIY Baby™ self-insemination kit.
'How do I collect the sperm from my donors and what is the best way to self-inseminate?'
are some of the questions often asked.
Most members arrange to meet their sperm donor at a safe place, where he will ejaculate in another room, and then offer you the fresh sperm in a wide rimmed plastic container and leave. Take someone with you. Wait until the sperm has gone from cloudy to clear and inseminate with plastic syringe as quickly as possible. Although this sounds obvious, sperm donors will want to know only you are using it- so will not wish for you to take it away- and you also need to check that this really was sperm from the donor- nothing wrong with asking the donor to only take in the pot- and a magazine- to the bathroom. These issues might be embarrassing- but you need to reduce all risks.
info on the site or buy a DIY self-insemination kit here
If your sperm donor donates to a clinic the sperm will be quarantined for six months to be sure it is safe with regards to HIV etc -ask for options at your local sperm bank/ clinic.
Most of our members use this site as they would prefer to know something about the biological father of their child- even if there is no active involvement- and it is why they dont go straight to a clinic. Members usually choose a sperm donor who closely resemble someone they would date, or would be friends with. You cant get that personality information etc from a sperm donor catalogue. Donors also say that they prefer to donate in this way so they can actually know something about the woman/ couple who is to parent a child created using their sperm. Through FSDW choices are offered. The site is maintained using subscription fees- and so refunds are not issued unless a donor you wanted to contact (on the public pages) is no longer listed in the members area. On occasion donors delete their profiles and don't let me know, although this doesn't happen often.
Please note that this is very similar to a dating site- I can't guarantee anything, and please do consider if this is really right for you!
If not you may wish to use a sperm bank - many are listed in the Sperm donation directory
At all times however, considere how much information you will be given- and how much you can therefore pass on to your child. Children deserve to know where they come from- even when the donor is not involved with the parenting process. You will always be the parents- however the donor will always be a part of the child biologically- forever.
Do ask any questions- however silly- we need to be open and honest about this- and take a preventative approach in all respects.
FSDW Site self-insemination info, home self-insemination kit
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Should we legalise private sperm donations?
In a changing world many individuals and couples who may in the past have had to forgo being parents- single women, lesbian and infertile couples, sperm donation has become ever more popular. However it has also become increasingly expensive- and often invasive. Even if they can afford it, can still often remain unavailable to certain groups, or involve years on a waiting list. The USA offers perhaps the easiest options- many delivering vials directly to your place of residence for home self-insemination- without even the need for a consultation with your doctor. It comes at a price. For example the The California Cryobank now sells 30K vials of sperm a year, which cost up to $500 each. An insemination through a private doctor’s office can run over a $1,000 for each pregnancy attempt.
The launch of FSDW coincided with the abolishment of anonymous sperm donation in the UK; so many men were left with wanting to donate- but on their terms. Many also wanted to have some choice in who they donated to- preferably by actually corresponding with and meeting the woman or couple. At first a question we were often asked was- 'why would men donate their sperm without payment? What do they get out of it?' Women and couples – and the media – seemed unable to understand this. As a donor posted on FSDW (Sperm Donors Worldwide soon changed to Free Sperm Donations Worldwide) - see above-
'"It is the most amazing feeling, and the genuine donors that I talk to share the same highs and lows with the girl at the end of the dreaded 2 week wait...".I am attaching a picture of I *******, she was my first success at AI, again thanks to your wonderful website.'
This donor has since helped many individuals and couples- developing positive relationships and offering to help with siblings if required. To me, this is the ideal solution. An agreement that is honoured by both parties- which results in far more sharing of information and flexibility.
The rights and needs of the child outweigh those of the parents – and our concern with sperm donation through clinics is that the women or couples do not meet the donor- and can provide limited information when asked questions by their child about 'Daddy'. This isn't such an issue with infertile couples- but it is with single women and lesbian couples. Every child wants to know where the come from- their 'roots'- who their biological father is- their 'other' relatives. They know every child has them- it does take a man and woman to create a child- even where sex is not involved! They want to know if they get their love of sports from him- or their hatred of maths..or flair for art etc. Children ask questions- and usually when provided with age appropriate, honest answers their self-image is not harmed. It is when there is secrecy or issues are avoided that problems arise. They need information not only for themselves- but also as they will be asked in the playground about their family set up. If there is no male role model around imagine their feelings on 'Father's Day'- especially when not handled sensitively by teachers. Being raised by a single parent- or lesbian couple- doesn't mean they won't fare well- in the same way being raised by a straight couple doesn't mean they will necessarily do well- however there are doing to be more difficulties in most respects, when not in a traditional set up (even though that very definition is rapidly changing- what is 'traditional' or 'normal' any longer?) So rather than hide our heads in the sand we should address this- for the sake of our children.
Private arrangements could offer men the opportunity to help- not only by providing their sperm- but also answers. They can feel great about helping- and knowing their blood line will continue- but without the financial obligations. Private arrangements can help people work out what is best for them- and for the child they create. The current system does not recognise this and likes to put people in boxes. Unfortunately this means that many men are cautious about helping- scared of being chased for child support- and many women choose a sperm bank rather than a man who they can choose and get to know, in ways that will benefit their child- for fear that he will go to court for custody.
There is also of course the issue of health risks when private sperm donation arrangements are made- sperm donated at a clinic is tested and quarantined for STDs and HIV- and you know you really are getting what the catalogue describes. With a private donation agreement- even when the donor is tested- he can have HIV, it just isn't yet showing up in tests. A worrying thought- and very real- even when using home self-insemination (AI) rather than through intercourse. Women also need to actually meet the donor so they know it is his sperm – that he brings out in the cup.We are often asked- 'do I need to meet him in person?' Imagine 9 months later having a child of an ethnicity you didn't plan on- because he decided to play a practical joke with his buddy. So the risks- and there are more!- relating to private sperm donation are certainly worthy of consideration. If we can somehow reduce them- enable men to choose to donate to clinics to women or couples they have chosen, change the laws so that men can sign away parental rights before the child is even born etc- we could actually meet the needs of a growing number of people worldwide
For this reasonwe I would like to see private sperm donation arrangements legalised- and for authorities, fertility clinics and specialists and lawyers to get together to work out some solutions. This is happening- we can't change that- you only need to see the social networking forums to realise how many women and couples are looking for a private sperm donor- and how many men are willing to donate. The main issue we have with these- and why we have worked hard to develop FSDW / DIY Baby™ as a supportive online community- with secure members area- is to weed out the men looking for sex or payment- and to help women and couples (and donors) find a genuine donor- without having to share personal information. They can chat within the members area, use free private donor agreement documents, and support one another. All agree to abide by a Behaviour Code- which cannot be implemented or reinforced in open chat forums. When someone is in breach their profile is removed or blocked- and the behaviour code also ensures that everyone using the site knows what is expected- and can report anyone they feel uneasy about. As we reply to everyone personally people know they have a friend who they can chat to confidentially. There are still numerous issues we need to deal with however. Membership fees enable me to moderate the site to the best of my ability and keep it personal. We are now working on a purely Australia web site, to help women and men connect in Australia alone- this is a country that possibly needs it more than others. Some of the practices in Australia are very 'behind' – for example a single woman cannot adopt in Australia- even from an overseas country that allows for single person adoptions. Surrogacy (altruistic) is now allowed- but it is illegal to advertise that you would like to find a surrogate- or to be one- except in one state. Finding a sperm donor is very difficult through a clinic- and costly- and yet more and more women and couples are determined to be parents. It will be interesting to see if as many men in Australia register to help (registering is free) – as there are in the UK and USA.
If you are a kind, honest man considering this please support us in our quest to give private sperm donation a better reputation and do so through a moderated site like FSDW - completely free to donors – even if looking for a co-parenting arrangement. Work with us, a growing number of people who want to help create dreams- and do so in a safe, responsible manner.
The Child Listener™ Asks -" When Does a Sperm Donor Become a Father?"
A few FSDW testimonials..sent from people who have used FSDW (Free Sperm Donations Worldwide) to
find a sperm donor or co-parenting donor.
We were on your site quite a while ago now, 2 years ago in april. We met a fantastic donor and on our 2nd attempt my partner got pregnant! we are now the proud parents to a lovely baby boy Shaye Jacob, he is 8 months next week already. He seems big now as he was only 5lb 8oz born a week late.
We would like to say a big thank-you to you for inventing such a fab site, without it our dream would never had come true, we are actually now planning our 2nd a.i baby with the same donor, it will be the last as it will be number 4 lol as i already had 2 children.
We will let you know how it goes fingers x again
best wishes and thanks again
L & F, Somerset u.k
p.s hope you like the pic he is a cutie!
Just to let you know that my partner and i used to be a member of your site and we found a fantastic donor through it. Allison is now 36 weeks and 1 day pregnant and is expecting a little boy very soon. We would just like to thank you so much as this would'nt have been possible without your site and not only have you helped to make our dream come true, we have also found a new supportive friend in our donor.
A and M
Just to let you know that my partner and i used to be a member of your site and we found a fantastic donor through it. Allison is now 36 weeks and 1 day pregnant and is expecting a little boy very soon. We would just like to thank you so much as this would'nt have been possible without your site and not only have you helped to make our dream come true, we have also found a new supportive friend in our donor.
We got on great. Met a great person who was only too willing to help us out. Your site was a blessing for us, thankyou so much. Keep up your great work in helping all of us who need it.
s and k
Yes we have been successful after 3 years of trying - and we are both pregnant by the same donor! We are thrilled. We have met some lovely donors and some nice but unreliable donors - and we have been contacted by the weirdest members of the human race also; 'E*****' from Dorset has been the miracle maker he is very accomodating happy to travel and is very knowledgable and happy to share his experiences (of which there are many- he has fathered several in the past year!) Another amazing guy who we did have success with but unfortunately miscarried at 3 months was 'peterar' from brighton -he was lovely and we became good friends during the process. The only complete weirdo; 'vfertile' who was unpleasant and kept contacting even after we said we were not interested as he would only do natural insemination!
thanks for your site it has made our family! first baby due in 10 weeks - baby 2 due in mar 2011!
D and T
Thanks for your email. I would have kept in touch and told you about any good news in the coming New Year...fingers crossed...
I have found the right donor (with careful consideration), from your brilliant site :)
We have communicated on a numerous occasions by email and spoken a few times via mobile. He caters to all my expectations... He has agreed to start AI in January. By that time I would have been on folic acid tablets long enough and checked anything out including his status of health etc.
W***, the Donor has been a perfect gentlemen and been straight forward of his expectations to what type of involvement he wishes - which is contact when the child ( he or she), reaches 18 years old, or earlier if the child wishes it...which is want I wish too...I am travelling to him, staying in an hotel and I am taking a friend with me. W***
lives not far from the station.
I was very surprised and impressed with your FSDW site, especially too how much information you offer. I was very impressed with the information about putting the 'child's needs' first - being honest with he or she about their parentage. This worried me a great deal but your site covered a lot of ground and has made me less anxious about how to approach this sensitive issue to my child in the near future. Yes, I agree honesty is the best approach.
I cannot think of anything to improve your FSDW site...you have covered everything...if I do think of anything I will email you again.
I was introduced to your site via a friend who has been a surrogate mother in the past, so she is aware of what is involved practically, physical and emotionally etc. She is the friend who is companying me to London.
Fingers crossed that all goes well, which I am sure with the donor I have chosen. I will let you know how it goes or if anything is not above board.
Again Emma thank you for the opportuity you have given me by creating your site, without it I would not have found a donor.
Speak soon V*******
hi,i tried to send an email through your website to emma but for some reason
it wouldnt let me , the reason for my email was to inform you that im leaving the members area as i found a wonderful donor and am now pregnant,
without your website it wouldnt have happend so id like to say a big THANKYOU to everyone who helped, a big thankyou,
We were very happy to find your site, couldn't believe there were so many men out there ready to donate for nothing, just for a chance to be a father or help someone out. We would like our result to be confidential but are very excited now that Julie's pregnant after the third attempt with M****. He's an lovely, intelligent man and the whole experience was fun and fascinating. He's had all his tests done and we will give him updates occasionally.
The updated site looks great and thank you again for providing people with a way to link together,
R****** and J**** x
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The DIY Baby™
Ultimate Self-Insemination Kit Includes;
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Pregnancy Wheel and Ovulation Calculator
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10 Ovulation (Fertility)Tests (needed to more effectively time day/s to inseminate)
Special offer- kit currently includes 15 ovulation test!
5 Pregnancy Tests - Special offer- kit currently includes 10 tests!
More FSDW Success Stories...!
Hi , I thought you might like an update, which i have
only just got round to now because i have been so busy with my little girl! R*** was born on 17th October and is now nearly 3 months old. I cannot describe how happy i am, she is just perfect and her big brother adores her! It is thanks to this website where i found the right donor, who is also very happy to have given our family a little girl, and we will remain friends. Thank you
so so much.
Please feel free to show this on your site, if you do i would also like to say, congratulations to everyone who has become a parent through using this site and lots of luck to those still waiting.
from Amy JAN 2009
thank you for all your help. we are leaving due to finding a donor from this site and having a sucsessful AI meeting.
I would just like to say we used M**** (AI only) a truely amazing guy, professional sperm donor and so knowlegable and a really nice guy.
I would recommend M for any awards you have for members. He really deserves it so helpful and i know he has helped so many couples that couldnt concieve by themselves.
Again **** thank you so much.
K and K
Hi - just to let
you know I'm leaving the members area. Your website has been successful in bringing together two like-minded singleton's to
have a child together whilst were still young ('ish)! Thank you for this - we'll keep you updated, hopefully a healthy happy baby before the end of the year. kind rgds h**
Baby Jake Congrats to L and C!
Hi there here are as promised some photos of us and our little boy who we
have called Jake. He was born weighing 9lb 9oz which was quite a shock as im
only little, hence i needed a caesarian section but it has all been worth it as we have such a beautiful, happy and contented baby who has made our life so complete. Nothing can compare to the feeling i have when I hold him and he looks at me with his gorgeous smile.
I know the midwives say you have to wait till 6 weeks before they smile but honestly he smiled the first day he was born and does everyday. He totally amazes me everyday and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be a parent.
I hope that everyone has the chance on FSDW to have a baby. Its the best thing in the world.
Thank you again,
L******, C***** and Jake x x
SUCCESS! Thank you. Please remove us and all records
from your system. We're REALLY grateful to you and of course to our donor. Feel free to publish this message but PLEASE no names.
Thank you so much.
we just want to thank you very much for helping us to create our beautiful baby boy Jacob! He's absolutely perfect, we couldn't have done it without your help, keep up the good work!
I have to say I stumbled across your site by chance last year. I'm so, so glad
I did. We're a lesbian couple (married for over a year now) who really
want to start a family.
We have spent a little while looking at and contacting people on the site who (mostly) have
been very friendly and responded.
We have now found a truly lovely guy and met him yesterday for the first time after
conversing via email for quite a while. He really is a truly genuine guy and we have decided to proceed with him
(starting in March).
We are both so excited and pleased that we have been able to do this thanks to your site. I
would like to truly thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
I will inform you when we have success!!!
Thanks again ****
(and the team)
D and B xxx
We are discontinuing our account at this time as we
have found an amazing donor (*****) who is willing to help both of us get pregnant. We have timed our ovulation and will be meeting for our first try this week. Thank you so much! We will let you know when we have success!!!
I want to say im sooooo
proud of what you are doing. You dont know the happiness you bring to peoples lives.
I couldnt have afforded the cost of the sperm centres
fees and so wouldnt have been able to get another baby ever.You have given me
the chance to hopefully have one more baby before its too late. Ive waited 16
yrs to find the right man and couldnt so my son who is 16 has no genetic siblings. My dad has only 2 grandkids out of his four daughters so im happy
and he will be too that he will have another grandchild
.I just joined last week and think I have already found a donor in portugal
who is willing to travel here in oct for donation. ...
After meeting & being let down 6 times by donors I thought I would never find
one I was very low and then I meet a donor who just saved me who has helpt me so much I am due to have my baby any day now and its all thanks to a great donor and your site and I would like to say to members
out there who are thinking of given up to stay hopefull the site doese work !!
. there are good donors out there thankyou to you for helping get my dream
We joined your site two months ago. Found the perfect donor. And
have just discovered....... .after the second attempt
A BABY IS ON THE WAY!!!!!!!
Can't thank you enough for startinghis site.
After 6 heartbreaking years of trying......never
thought it could be so easy.
Im from Western Australia. (donor name removed) did it for us! I couldn't me happier with your services.
I am 2-3 weeks pregnant as a result!
Thank you ! We found our perfect donor on your site and we started trying for a baby last month. I
will let you know how successful we are, but in the meantime we are very greatful for getting this far.
just to let you know things have worked out for me i am now pregnant after a first go at meeting a
donor at your web site L
Hi - just a quick message to let you know
that after getting in touch with our donor through your
site we are now pregnant. Thank you so much for the worthwhile work you do.
Hi, hope you are well,
Just thought we best update you with our progress, We thankyou very much from the bottom of our hearts,
we are pregnant after our first attempt, and today it was confirmed my partner
is carrying twins. Thankyou is not a strong enough word we can use. Our donor was excellent and we have be able to build up a great raport with him. Once again this service you provide has helped us achieve our dream.
C and A
thank you - without FSD and my donor this would not have been possible! All the best for you and everybody on FSD, kindest regards, L
(P.S. Please do not post these names and foto on FSD - however you are free to post the news - without names and foto)
On January 29, 2010 in the evening, S and R arrived on Earth safely and healthy.
What joy, blessing and happiness, what a gift!
Thanks for all your help.
I saw my gyneo about 2-3 weeks ago, i was given some results saying that i wasn't ovulating, so they told me to stop trying for the time being. Had to have a blood test on the 21st day of my period, but met up with a donor the following day.....turns out i took 5tests yesterday and they all come back saying that i was PREGNANT...couldnt believe it. But am only 2-3wks, but how the doctor works it out more like 6weeks. Ive cancelled my direct debit, but cant seem to do the profile.
Please let me know.
Thank you for everything you do, it really does make a huge difference.
J and A xxx
Hi ****, I just wanted to let you know that I wish to cancel my subscription to your profiles site for now as we have succesfully found a suitable donor (Yay!!) I'm so pleased and cannot wait to get started!!!
I have some more tests to complete at the doctors and will then be ready to get going,
I may purchase the fertile focus thingy at some point soon....
Please could you take my name off the list when this months subscription is up.
Many thanks for your help, I couldn't believe a site like this existed at first, it's superb
S and M xxx
I would like to notify you that we are deleting our profile.
We have successfully managed to become pregnant
WE used donor E*** from bournemouth and after only two attempts we are going to be parents.
I will be deleting our account today and would like you to please suspend the transaction taken 28th of each month.
I would like to thank you for helping us to become parents.
I know you probably get emails like this all the time, but I couldn't not say thank you. I gave birth to my son 4 weeks ago, conceived with the help of a wonderful donor who I met through your site. I can't even find the words to tell you how grateful I am. He's the best thing to ever happen to me, and it's with your help that he's here. Thank you, so much.
I'm am in a lesbian relationship and new having children would me hard. But thanks to this site it made finding a sperm donor easy, it took a few tries as it didn't work the first time. The seccond time it did, I am now 5 weeks pregnant and couldn't be happier, and it's all because of this site, I am highly greatful. I will keep you posted if you like.
Thanks to your site our great donor and three tries Im 18 weeks pregnant. Thank you so much for your site and the help and advice that we recieved.
Could you please cancel my subscription to the site
C and J
We where members end of last year and found a suitable donor by the log on on name of Marti. And now we can happily say that we have been successful this month on our 6th attempt, we would like to thank your self first as if we would have never found your web site we would of never of had the chance to become mummy's!
We are also emailing you to give you an outstanding reference for Marti as he has been very professional, helpful and has been very understanding through the whole process and we don't think that we could have chosen a better person to help us on our way. We would highly recommend Marti as a donor as we feel he is a genuine person and had many successes and is also very reliable in committing to the time that you need him and has offered to help us in the future if we wish to have any more!. Marti is very knowledgeable in the whole process and as our first time doing this made us feel very comfortable and had all the information and advice that we needed.
We would be more than happy to help anyone on your site if they need to ask any questions or need advice ,once again thank you so much and if you need to know anything more on Marti please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Hi its * and *here. We would like to tell you that we're over the moon as s is pregnant after the 1st attempt. We met our donor who a very nice person indeed and had a long chat. What you do is truly an amazing thing because without some one like you our dream wouldn't of happened. Thank you so much emma. We will keep u posted and let you know how we're doing. Thank you once more
We tried for the first time last month and I'm now pregnant- thank you so much. We weren't expecting it to work first time, and didn't even do an early pregnancy test, so when I missed my period it was a complete shock. we are over the moon with happiness, and can't believe there is magic happening inside of me right now! If it wasn't for this website than our dreams could not have come true. It was so simple, and our donor was fantastic. This website is brilliant, it's wonderful and inspiring to know that there are people out there like you and our donor that just want to help.
We will send you a picture of our little one in Feb 2010.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
B and E. XX '
Hope you and the site are both doing very well.
I am now 19 weeks along and am pleased to say everything is going really well! No sickness or feeling poorly, and you still can't tell I'm pregnant yet.
Got lots to look forward to, busy doing babys nursery and playroom. All our friends and family are fussing over us both and are as excited as we are!
Thanks again, because if it wasn't for you setting up this site, we would still be in that sad and hopeless place we were last August when we joined your site.
I'll send you a pic when our little angel gets here.
Just wanted to let you know my partner is now 9 weeks pregnant thanks to a donor we met on your site. It was our first attempt with this particular donor and we're over the moon. Please keep up the good work. We tell everyone who'll listen about the site. Words cannot thank you enough-without you they'd be no site and without the site we would not be expecting a baby! He/She will arrive just before Christmas-what better present can you think of?! We'll keep you posted of our progress...
Thnaks once again.
M, S and Bump
More on Sign Up Page- over 2600 babies since FSDW (Free Sperm Donations Worldwide) was created in 2003!
Free Sperm Donations Worldwide (formerly Sperm Donors Worldwide) and DIY Baby™ are now based in Australia- originally created in the UK- connecting single women, lesbian and infertile couples worldwide!
FSDW (DIY Baby) in the News
The web site FSDW (DIY Baby) allows for single women, lesbian and infertile couples to connect with sperm donors who will agree to have contact with the child BEFORE 18- or even to co-parent - and make an arrangement that enables the child to know who he is. People shouldn't have to go through what Damien Adams talks about - and many others are going through- even knowing info at 18 is too late. Many are using FSDW for that reason- so their children will meet their 'donor daddy' or at least be given information about their biological identity. Children deserve to know where they come from- and as this article shows, the authorities are getting it wrong. So we were looking forward to a positive piece about the options available- that will stop children- and adults who are donor conceived- to have these issues. We spent hours spent talking to a journalist about the site and what we do- far more than connecting people with sperm donors. There is nothing 'underground' about this. We were also misquoted.
We do not believe that the current systems are working- they are not meeting the needs of donors, recipients or
their donor conceived children. She spoke to at least one donor who ONLY wants to co-parent- and all of the women she spoke to wanted their children to know about his or her biological father. The site is about choices
- for all- and I do not promote 'anonymous' sperm donations- how could that actually happen through my site- recipients have to meet the donor face to face to collect the donation- or arrange for him to donate for her only through a clinic?
There are single women- sure- but just as many lesbian and infertile couples. They aren't 'desperate' for a
baby-or half witted hormone driven idiots the press would lead us to believe- FSDW members area intelligent adults who are making an informed choice that will benefit all involved- and will be honest from the start. There are far quicker ways to get pregnant than choosing to subscribe to a moderated members area- where only AI is allowed- plenty of men out there who would be only to pleased to have a free 'quickie'. One night stands- where the man isn't aware of this intention- have been happening for years! FSDW members are looking at the bigger picture- including what happens after the pregnancy.
Children Deserve to Know Where They Come From- and FSDW allows for, and encourages this- unlike the current provisions within the health system. The child spoken about- Jacob- will have that opportunity - his parents have made sure of that. To me they have been far more sensible and made a wider choice regarding the conception of their child than if they had chosen a one night stand, or gone to a clinic. Other than knowing the sperm is 100% safe what benefits are offered through a clinic- with regards to the child? What options are there for the donor to be involved before the child reaches the age of 18? What options are there for parents raising the child who want to be able to provide answers at various stages of the child's life?
The fact that people are joining means they want to have met and know the sperm donor. The FSDW site is
about helping kind intelligent men and women connect to have a baby in non-traditional ways- and enables them to make their own arrangement.
If the authorities had it right I wouldn't have more registered donors and be helping more women and couples than they are- with no legal or health issues in 6 years. This is something that needs to be talked about- and I had hoped that this journalist would do so. She had the information- had spoken to donors- and yet we get the same tired story - almost identical to others. She had written a piece recently about an adult conceived from donor sperm- and he talked of how much he was missing. I had hoped that her follow ups would show that there are opportunities for us to stop these experiences- but it does mean not using 'regulated fertility clinics'.
We created this online community to not only help people become parents- but also
to put forward ideas and advice regarding making choices that benefit the child.
A voice for children.
Regarding Australia we would also like to point out that single women are not allowed to adopt here (???) and gay marriages are not recognised- so they aren't allowed to adopt as a married couple either. It is now legal for altruistic surrogacy- however it is illegal to advertise for a surrogate - or that you would like to be one (??). The system in Australia needs looking at- and changing. Many women would love to adopt - however having their own child can be the only option. Even in countries where single women can adopt - overseas- the Australian authorities will not allow you to bring the child into the country. So why make this process even more difficult? As many women and couples arent even allowed to apply to adopt, and the waiting list for sperm through the clinics is about 2 years (I am told) then of course they will turn to other options. Rather than becoming involved in situations where all are not clear about the arrangement before conception (eg one night stands, asking a friend etc) we can seek to work together and reduce risks together through FSDW- and meet the needs of all concerned.
Anyone in a non traditional role struggles in this country to have the opportunity to be a parent- which is surely a right for all- if emotionally and financially ready- and able to raise a child with love and kindness? As a child behaviour advisor I see many screwed up children from traditional families- being a straight married couple doesnt necessarily mean the child will have a better chance of being happy and well adjusted. So rather than banding groups of people together and judging we should consider every case as an individual- and be more generous of spirit. Being a parent is something I would have hated not to have experienced.
And on a final note, this quote, from an article by Dr Max Pemberton sums it up very nicely- as he says that
'...objections smack of little more than nanny-stateism' .
The internet has revolutionised the way we do many things and perhaps it’s most enduring and significant impact has been on how we communicate with one another. For some single women, it has even changed the way they can get pregnant. The Human Fertilisation and Embryo Authority (HFEA) last week announced that it plans to launch an investigation into the legality of websites set up to put women in contact with sperm donors. This follows the recent conviction of two businessmen who acted as “sperm brokers”. They ran a website that couriered fresh samples from donors to women for home insemination.
Most of these websites, however, simply provide a facility for women to make contact with potential donors and the individuals make their own arrangements. But the HFEA claims that the websites are putting women’s health at risk because they are unregulated and there is no official way of screening the donors for sexually transmitted infections such as HIV. Instead it is the sole responsibility of the individuals involved to make arrangements to be screened and ensure that the donor is disease free.
In contrast, fertility clinics operate within specific safeguards, which include screening donors prior to donation and storing samples for six months before use to ensure the male donor is negative for HIV. It is therefore true that there is a risk associated with DIY insemination.
But the HFEA’s objections smack of little more than nanny-stateism. I can’t help but feel they are reacting in this way because their nose had been put out of joint at the thought of people taking fertility into their own hands and undermining their authority. They have helped create an industry around getting pregnant and don’t like the idea that there are some aspects of it that they cannot regulate or control.
In essence what the HFEA is attempting to do is place restrictions around the actions of two consenting adults and what they do in the privacy of their own homes. I really don’t see that this is in their remit. The notion is absurd. What’s to stop women from joining a dating website, meeting someone and sleeping with them and falling pregnant that way? Is the HFEA proposing to ban all forms of dating, just in case there is sperm involved? In a way, all these websites do is provide the modern equivalent of a singles bar, but with the added benefit that both the man and the woman are aware what the other one really wants.
The rhetoric surrounding the condemnation of these sites is also highly patronising to women. There is a suggestion that women, overcome by raging hormones and deafened by the ticking of their biological clock, are acting irrationally and cannot be trusted to make decisions. The truth is that if a single woman wants to get pregnant, she can. It’s been going on for millennia without the help of the internet. Surely it’s better that women are able to make an informed, reasoned decision, get to know the man and request a medical examination on their terms, rather than picking up a stranger in a bar. In fact, the women who use these sites are far from passive, vulnerable victims. They know what they want and are actively taking control in order to obtain it. They are more than capable of analysing the risk to themselves and can take responsibility for their decisions. It also seems to me that this is an example of women making a stand and rejecting the unnecessary commercialisation of fertility, which is now so prevalent. Why should they be forced to pay thousands of pounds to procure sperm through “official” clinics if they don’t want to? Since when did the medical profession have a monopoly on sperm? Of course, that’s not to say there aren’t potential problems with such websites. Legally, the donor remains liable for child maintenance and although couples may draw up contracts stating the donor will have no involvement in the child’s life this is not enforceable under the law. But it’s the HFEA’s responsibility to ensure that people are aware of the law relating to this, not to try to stop the practice itself. After all, men have been making women pregnant long before the HFEA.
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