Sperm donations chat- sharing experiences, information, advice about donor conception through artificial insemination!

An exciting, useful new page for Free Sperm Donations Worldwide members, or those
considering joining!
Share your experiences, ask others for advice or information about becoming
pregnant through sperm donations- discussions about artificial insemination, donor conception!

Sperm donors please do use this page to offer info from your persepctive, and
to post your tips and advice etc, but please
do not post your 'available to help' messages here- either use the Message Boards
(you get a free message when you JOIN) or please do sign up as a private sperm donor!

It's free to post your question although we strictly monitor this board- for example
you would not be able to ask for donors to
contact you through this page- you need to use the Message Boards.if you are looking for a donor.

This is a discussions board, so that women and infertile couples can
discuss donor conception and the pros and cons
of becoming pregnant- conceiving using fresh sperm using artificial insemination.

Hi Folks and welcome to the new page- please get started sharing experiences and
asking others to volunteer to share tips and info etc!

We're almost at the end of our first year as Free Sperm donations Worldwide and the
positive repsonse has been wonderful
- especially those letting us know of successful pregnancies! After all thats' what we're here for!

Comment Only

Hi Emma,

I should have emailed before now but I have been very busy with our beautiful 6 month old son.
Thanks to your hard work we found a genuine donor and our son is everything we could have wished for and more.
Our donor has also offered to help us again in the future with a sibling for our son and to complete our family.

We can't begin to thank you enough

THANK YOU

Message: Hey all.

I just wanted to get feedback from the women who have gone through the experience, and find out
what problems they encountered.

I'm currently trying to get to grips with ovulation times. The kits tell you to test a lot earlier than I would have thought.
Did anyone have any surges quite a few days before predicted ovulation via temperature?

I think this site is a great idea, and I'm really hoping things work out for me via this method. Just want to get it right!

Dec 2006

I am now 22 weeks pregnant, after just two trys! This is a splendid service you are providing.
There would have been no other way for us.
We were very lucky and had a very nice donor (as I'm sure most are, however, I still believe that no matter
how desparate you are, you must still move forward with caution. The first potential donor may not be the best one for you. Try to be rational, and if you have a bad feeling, then don't move forward at that time.

Again thank you for your help. I hope the rest of my pregnancy goes as smoothly as the first 22 weeks!

If you know of good donor testing facilities - for STDs, HIV etc- doctors, clinics etc- please can you send us info
so we can post on the site- thanks!
Em:-)

Feb 2007

Could you please tell me the best type of syringe to use i have a plastic one but not sure its long enough?

Email us your comments and we will pass on- or if you are a registered donor or member please logon and contact 'Lena'
Thanks!

Re legalities of using fresh sperm from a donor- please read free info on the site and remember that this is info
we have gained through research- we are not legally trained. Basically there is no legal precident- for centuries
people have been coming to private arrangements with no problem. Technically however fresh sperm donation
(in the UK at least) is seen as no different than having intercourse, so the legalities are the same- ie the UK
donor could go to court to prove paternity and seek contact, and the woman could do the same, and seek
financial support. No-one on our site has had problems with this in two years- and as I said, there have been no
legal cases to date so people are obviously not having a problem sticking to their arrangements. We recommend
that you create an agreement to that effect and put it in writing- ie show clearly your intent. Understand however
that this in not a legally binding agreement and is not at this time legally enforceable as there have been no
related cases and the law does not recognise this issue. It will certainly help though, if either party decides to break this agreement for some reason. Its about risk and weighing up what feels right to you- and this is why meeting
your donor is so important. If in doubt about his character or intentions use a sperm bank- however in the UK
there are now no anonimity laws so your offspring can now track down 'Daddy' at age 18. Again this is why donors
choose to help through our site- so they dont have that issue- most donors and members create hotmail addresses
and take steps to protect themselves from being traced after conception ie make their own decision about how to do
this. Whats most important however is what you are trying to achieve- a baby! Nothing in life is a certainty so
research your decision and do whats right for you! Emma:-)

Sept 2007
Username KandA

Email: ksprig@blueyonder.co.uk

Message: Me and my partner are very new to this and would appreciate any advice at all. We would also like to
know how others have done any medical testings.

We are worried about testing for HIV etc. Any info you could give us on how other members have fared would be much appreciated.

Thanks so much for this

Emma's answer; I suggest you go to your local private medical practice and ask about private testing/ STD
screening. Its the same as heterosexual couples who are
being sensible before sleeping together - they could go and ask for AIDS and STD checks. Most of our members
do that- although many donors do this
regularly so they have certs as they organise it themselves.
Good luck! Em

Hello Em,

First of all I'd like to say what a GREAT site I think this is! I've had a really positive experience overall, and have now met a donor
who seems really genuine and just about perfect! For me to say that (the girl who's always been too picky to settle for second best and
hence is still single at 39!) he must be good! There were some members who didn't reply so i can let you have their names if that
will save other recipients some disappointment and effort - would you like me to do so through the feedback form or to you direct?

I'm after a little advice now if that's possible please. My donor is very happy to have testing done, but neither he nor
I know who will do this for him, and what we should ask for. I do have some idea of the tests from a fertility clinic
website, but perhaps more importantly, I am drawing a blank investigating where he should go for the tests.
Obviously I'd like both STD/HIV tests and sperm quality/quantity etc. as he has never fathered a child.
I understand from both NHS Direct and the National Gamete Donation Trust that UK
fertility clinics and GPs are both likely to say no, which I have to say really worries me for many women out there.
Do you have any ideas at all as to where the tests can be carried out? Of course I'm expecting and willing to pay.
The donor lives in **** (in the UK), if that's relevant info.

I'd really appreciate your help on this one; I've looked on the site and found reference to your desire to set
up a database of testing centres, but can't find the database itself. Please can you help me get a step
closer to my dream? I've done a lot of research and my decision to go for fresh sperm and this donor in
particular is a very well informed one which I want to approach responsibly by having the
tests done.

Thanks so much in advance - and keep up the great work!!

Best wishes,
****

Emma's reply- HI and thanks for the positive feedback- yes, plese let me have the names of donors
who fail to respond - I have a 3 strikes and youre out rule!
Some find it really difficult to send a polite- 'sorry I can thelp you' message - and thats all thats needed really.
They cant donate to everyone! But we expect everyone to be
mutually respectful and sensitive. So Ill look into it for you by writing to them to check their status.

Re testing- you should be able to go to any private practice and just pay for them- ask at your local BUPA if they
do that and how much (and let us know!)
If anyone was concerned about STDs and HIV Im pretty sure their doc would be under an obligation to get them
tested on the NHS? Anyone have a comment on that, or info?
Any docs out there?
Also, if he went in and said he was wanting to sleep with his new partner for the first time but they
were both being responsible and wanted to check they were both 'clean'- surely he is able to get tested
They do testing for that reason as a matter of course in some countries, eg Sweeden- who also happen to have low rates of sexually transmitted disease! - hmm theres a co-incidence.
I cant believe it would be that difficult to get tested- its the responsible thing to do- whether its for a donation or a new sexual relationship?

I am wanting to set up a datasbase of testing centres- Im just not having any luck getting contact details
and addresses to add as yet!

ANYONE HAVE ANY INFO?
PLEASE EMAIL ME WITH WITH USEFUL INFO - Em:-)

Update on UK private sperm donor testing- from site visitor

Name witheld for privacy: Testing is available at any NHS genito urinary clinic, results are available
next day and no details are forwarded to gps etc Hope this helps

Thanks! Can they just walk in or do they need any apt- and can they make these themselves?

Em:-

Just need to ring for an appointment at their local clinic, usually best to say for clearance for new relationship which would
allow both parties to attend. It is all done by a clinic identification number which is different to persons usual hospital or nhs number.
The results will only be given in person and will not be available to gp or on any hospital records.

Name: maria ******

Date: 8 11 07

Type: member

Feedback: after meeting being let down 6 times by donors I thought I would never find one I was very low and then I meet a donor who justed saved me who has helpt me so much I am due to have my baby any day now and its all thanks to a great donor and your site and I would like to say to members out there who are thinking of given up to stay hopefull the site dose work !! . there
are good donors out there thankyou to you for helping get my dream
maria

What an inspiration to us all - how wonderful that you had the strength of character to persevere with your dream, and that you
found a fantastic donor who supported you. We wish you all the very best Maria.

Em xx FSDW Founder

Feedback: Hi, I joined your sie looking for a donor, that aside I am disappointed that you allow members to state
'no lesbian couples', if I were to say no black donors I hope that I would be thrown off the site, homophobia is illegal
as is racism. You cannot claim to be equal opps and tolerate this, I hope you can reconcile this, ***** Submit

Hi- the site is set up to offer help and support for single women, infertile and lesbian couples.

Do you mean that a donor has put that in his profile? The site is fairly unique in that donors are donating for free, and will have to give up a great deal of their time as they are offering fresh sperm for collection every month until conception- so they are also meeting up with members to deliver. They are therefore picky with regards to who they donate to- they need to donate to someone they feel they are a match with, as most want to know that their child is to be raised by someone with the same kind of values etc- even if they arent actually involved with the raising of the child. Im sure you wouldnt be ok with donating your eggs to a racist, biggot or pscho!! You too would choose to donate to someone with the same ideas about life as you- and that means you would also be likely to ofend some people. We cant please everyone.

We ask that all donors be honest with regards to who they would like to donate to as they are offering this for free- so they cant help everyone. Some are not willing to donate to single women, some want to know you are emotionally and financially secure, some are not happy to donate to lesbian women, some may not be willing to donate to black women and couples. In the same way that everyone has the right to choose who they want to hook up with on dating sites etc. At many sperm banks donors write a document stating certain groups they will not allow their sperm to be given to. Whenever someone offers something there is usually something that stipulates the terms, and that should be our right- even if we offend some people doing this.

We would much rather that people be honest about that they are looking for, and offering, so no-one's time is wasted. You will note on message boards that women also put that they are looking for white donors. Which very clearly states they are not looking for a black donor. Black donors dont seem to be offened by this- they understand that people have different needs with regards to parenting etc.

If someone writes something offensive- as in personal attacks or judgments with regards to race or sexuality, then we would remove or amend profiles. We dont allow that.
But we welcome and encourage people to be honest. Far better than you spending lots of time contacting donors to then find that they dont wish to donate to you because of your ethnicity, sexuality, financial status.....whatever matters to them. So everyone puts as much as they can in profiles- and this saves time and is actually, in my opinion, far more respectful.

Equal opportunities actually doesnt mean that everyone has to be treated the same. It means giving everyone the same opportunity, regardless. This site actually offers people choice- when many are discriminated against and dont have this opportunity. Equal opps doesnt mean our donors have to donate to everyone. If its not right for you then this isnt the site for you- and we respect that. However there are lots of donors happy to donate to lesbian
Sperm women and couples- just contact those!